i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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