you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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