Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
