Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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