My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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