Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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