Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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