just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
