Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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