I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
