Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
this is an emotional support booty call
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
