u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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