i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
