he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
