I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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