I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
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Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love