sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
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I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
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the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.