dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
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he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
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Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"