Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.