hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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