Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
