just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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