He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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