I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
