good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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