Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
