I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
