Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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