My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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