I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
my poor anus
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
