I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
