I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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