What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
