So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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