i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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