my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
