dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
