You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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