the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
