I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
