Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
