Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
