it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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