I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize