"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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