if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
