Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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