uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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