I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
