can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
