where am i from again
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
