I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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