They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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