Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
