Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
