so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
