Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
