if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
