Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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