I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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