just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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