a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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